Yo, Yoanna. The girl won "America's Next Top Model" after weeks of being told that her size 2 form was too flabby and that she "needs to work on her stomach." Gawd, her cheeks are so sunken in from lack of nutrients, she appears to be chewing her own jaws. But she's gorgeous and she strutted down the runway in the fabulous "professional fashion show" like the prize show pony she is. The big TEST on the finale of this -- the BEST DAMNED REALITY SHOW EVER AIRED -- was COULD THEY WALK? Shandi, eliminated first out of the final three, was determined to "have a bad walk" and a look in her eyes that was "confused." Mercedes walked perfectly fine, but she was doomed for "looking too commercial."

In what other contest on this planet is the winner determined by the ability to put one foot in front of the other, walking in a straight line?