"I don't read books." So said handsome Jim, the second to last hunk to vie for the affections of Larissa on "Average Joe." And with that, Larissa, bless her book-readin' heart, sent him packing back to his messy apartment in Scottsdale. Dude, a TV crew is coming over, along with the woman you say you love -- PUT SOME SHEETS ON THE BED! VACUUM UP THE DOG HAIR! TAKE THE BLOW-UP DOLL OUT OF THE KITCHEN. Doofus.

Larissa, trying to determine if there was any there there inside the gorgeous frame of Jim, asked him what his favorite book was. Uh, the dude don't read. And when she pressed him on other private details, he said, "You can't ask me all these questions."

Look closely. Behind Jim's big blue eyes is a pretty aquarium full of pretty little fish. Just fwimming and fwimming where his brain orta be.

His ousting leaves Gil, the cold-as-ice blonde from Florida, and "Broy-an," the homeland security agent from Baw-ston. If Larissa had a lick o' sense, and we all know she probably doesn't, she'd pick Brian and let him worship her for the next 50 years. The guy has admitted he's 31 and never had a relationship (is he a voy-jun?) with a woman. If he got Larissa, she'd never have to lift a finger or earn a nickel. She'd be his trophy wife for life. Larissa, for God's sake! Pick Brian! A man like Gil will be cheating on you in a week. Rule of life No. 51: Two good-looking people can never be successful as a couple. One half of the couple has to be a little homelier than the other. That's just how it is. Don't argue with me on this.