Reality TV is good again

So I'm watching a load of it. Dancing with the Stars on ABC, Hell's Kitchen on Fox, Being Bobby Brown on Bravo.

Bravo to all of them and more, more, more!

From Mr. Peterman doing a mean tango with the Danish pastry, to Bobby and Whitney stumbling around the Bahamian resort, I'm eating it up like a double cone with sprinkles. Tastiest of all is that hunk of haggis Gordon Ramsay, the meanest chef on the planet and possibly the sexiest. On Hell's Kitchen he makes mincemeat of the would-be cooks and shows the world how bloody hard it is to make a decent plate of risotto.

Down in Austin on the latest installment of MTV's Real World, they've cast seven slutty alcoholics. Or maybe six slutty alkies and one snaggle-toothed virgin. On night one, they got roaring sheet-faced on Sixth Street and one guy landed in the ER with a busted cheekbone. Party on, dudes! Bring on the usual race-baiting and phone-in break-ups and tears for no reason. We've already seen girl-on-girl action in the hot tub and a chick wearing ass-baring shorts. God bless y'all, every one.

A Screech lookalike named Richard on Beauty & the Geek (WB) is one of two finalists going up against the more-normal and only slightly nerdesque Chuck. Not as mean as Joe Schmo and Average Joe, this one's kinda sweet, in a WB-ish way, which means some humiliation and not that much skin.

CBS brings back Big Brother for another round of the worst reality TV ever devised. Mrs. Les Moonves, aka Julie Chen, brings her robotic hosting style into America's living rooms starting July 7.