K-k-k-Katie?

As they say in Dodgeball, "It's a three-player swing!" That's what happens with the move of Katie Couric from NBC's Today to CBS Evening News. Out goes old pro Bob Schieffer, who has grown the CBS newscast by 2 million viewers since Rather's departure. In comes Couric, never able to get one sentence through her dental work without fluffing at least two syllables --then excusing herself with a hoity-toity "Rah-ther...." The third player in the swing is, by all accounts Meredith Vieira, who jumps from the left chair on The View to the sofa on Today, where she'll have to stop talking about "going commando" lest Matt Lauer get the icks.

The critics have had their say about Couric's lack of "gravitas" (which sounds like very strong gravy) and how she'll be the first-ever solo woman anchor of network newscast. But isn't Elizabeth Vargas already doing that on ABC? (No word on when the injured Bob Woodruff will rejoin her.)

Couric alone probably can't make CBS Evening News No. 1. The nighttime newscasts have been losing viewers for a decade (here in Central Time they air at 5:30 p.m., before most grown-ups are home from work yet). And the always-chased younger demos get their news from the Internet and cable... if they look for news at all. She's not a strong reporter and at 49 she's losing that babe-o-liciousness that made her so tasty with a cup of kawfee in the a.m. Will they be hiding those fab gams under that desk? Or rebuilding a plexiglas display case for them the way ET once did for Mary Hart?

Such points to ponder. But consider the Vieira-Lauer anchor marriage for a moment. There's an old theory in filmmaking: Some stars are "reflectors"; others are "absorbers." The reflectors glow with a sort of inner light. They make the best heroes and heroines and are perceived by viewers as friendly and harmless. The absorbers are heavier. They balance the up-energy of the reflector and provide that yin-yang thing. Think Bogie and Bacall (absorber/reflector). Think Lucy and Desi (reflector/absorber). Now, Katie Couric is a klieg-light-sized reflector. Lauer was her darker absorber, the yang to her yin. Together they were perfectly balanced. Over on The View, Meredith Vieira is the absorber opposite Barbara Walters' considerable reflection. Alongside Lauer, however, Vieria will be dark against dark.

You can have two reflectors to make a hit. Or a reflector/absorber pairing. But two absorbers? Disaster. Flop city. Good Morning America has the reflective Diane Sawyer teamed with the absorber-anchor Charles Gibson. Watch their ratings go up after Couric takes her reflective stardom to CBS news.