Dawn Marie goes down! But maybe not completely out on "The Family," ABC's greedfest about the Joisey clan trying to score a million bucks. Last night, groovy hostmeister George Hamilton revealed the identities of the "secret board of trustees," aka the butler, chef, maid, social director and stylist. Wow, did Momma's eyes pop when she realized the chef had NOT appreciated all her whiny critiques of his gourmet goodies. Remember the "don't use fresh parsley" remark? Of course you don't, but I do and that's why I'm married to my TV set and not a banker named Brad.

The baldheaded cute cousin guy is the one who looks like a winner on "The Family" and if he scores the bucks, watch Uncle Mikey turn into Luca Brazzi. It won't be pretty. Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

Counting the days till "Survivor: The Pearl Islands."