Here's how to bring some life to "For Love or Money 2": Now that it's down to two guys and a gal (she chooses one of them and if he chooses her back, she gets $2 million bucks and can dump him like a bad batch of coleslaw), they should announce ONE OF THE MEN IS GAY! Otherwise, this show will just fizzle down to nothing but ashes and empty wineglasses by the end. Where's the suspense, the heat, the storytelling? Our lady, a stick insect called Erin Brodie, has the type of grating personality and nasal delivery of the pre-pubescent Jan Brady. Erin's only two adjectives are "awesome" and "amaaaaaaazing," used to describe everything from a cup of coffee to the towering majesty of the Northern California Redwoods.

"Erin, what was it like to spend a night in a cave with Osama bin Laden?"

"Awesome. Just amaaaaaaaaazing."

The remaining "Love or Money" victims, er, suitors are the monosyllabically named Wade and Chad. The passionless Rob was sent for a stroll out the front gates of yon mansion for a second time last night. Where, oh, where will this scraggly-haired lunkhead turn up next? "Survivor"? "Elimidate"? Rejected twice on bad reality TV! Next on "Montel"!